The B-Movie Shelf

A mercenary-for-hire accepts a mission from a billionaire to capture some dangerous snakes that could possibly help cure a terminal illness. (Anaconda 3: OffSpring) A genetically-created Anaconda that can regenerate itself due to the Blood Orchid has escaped and must be stopped before it wrecks havoc. (Anacondas: Trail of Blood) REVIEW: With SyFy's upcoming airing of Lake Placid vs Anaconda I figured I'd try my hand at covering all the other SyFy sequels from both series' leading up to this killer animal mash-up, obviously excluding the three larger-budget theatrical entries in the series (the first Lake Placid and the first two Anaconda movies). But for those dying to know my thoughts on those ones (I know I know, all two of you), I will just say that I personally love all three, with Lake Placid being my top favorite, followed closely by Anaconadas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and lastly the first Anaconda. Now, SyFy has had it's hand in plenty of other bi...

Immortal half-vampire/half-human vampire slayer Rayne takes her war against the Vampires into World War II, where she must stop a recently-turned Nazi commander from creating an army of Nazi Vampires for Hitler. REVIEW: Well better late then never, but finally here's my review of the third Uwe Boll BloodRayne epic, BloodRayne: The Third Reich. It's interesting to note that these movies, along with the In the Name of the King trilogy, are some of his more successful film franchises with three films each. Some others, such as Alone in the Dark, Seed, and Rampage, got at least one sequel but these two franchises got three each.  I may be putting myself before the firing squad here, but I'm actually a bit of a Uwe Boll fan myself, even though I can admit there's probably no reason why I should like them, considering they are in no shape, way, or form good movies, but admittedly they're pretty fun for me to watch. The story to this BloodRayne ent...

A small town becomes the focal point of a brutal clash between man and legendary beast. REVIEW: It's no secret that here at the B-Movie Shelf I love me some killer Bigfoot movies. Honestly, they're one of my favorite sub-genres, so of course a movie with the title of Bigfoot Wars would capture my attention pretty easily. With some very quick digging upon the initial announcement I discovered it was based off a novel by Eric S. Brown called Bigfoot War, so of course I seeked out the Ebook version and gave it a quick read, which really wasn't difficult since the 'novel' is a scant 120 pages. And honestly, that was probably for the better because it was just not very good, at all. The plot was an interesting one, that being a large tribe of Sasquatches, angered by the humans of the nearby town Babble Creek, come out in-force and wage war on the town inhabitants, but the writing was, to put it bluntly, just downright terrible; Spelling mistakes and typos aplenty,...

A single dad cop in a small town and his female partner are called to the scene of the death of a mean recluse. Shortly after, a number of bizarre deaths around town begin to occur at the hands of a big supernatural disfigured monster that is actually a demonic form of Cain, of Cain and Abel of the bible, who has needed a "brother" to be his keeper ever since he killed Abel, and now that his previous keeper has died, he's free to search for someone worthy of being his new "brother". REVIEW: It was really interesting to see SyFy tackle a different beast (so to speak) with Boogeyman, opting to go instead with a slower, atmospheric, supernatural teen slasher style movie as opposed to their usual fare of killer animals, giant monsters, and global disasters. Sure, since this movie originally aired in 2012 they've done many more similar style movies, with varying degrees of success, with Haunted High (aka Ghostquake), American Horror House (aka Sororit...

When Rumpelstiltskin destroys the Magic Mirror and escapes to the modern world, the four princesses of "Once Upon a Time"- Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Rapunzel - are sucked through the portal too. Well-trained and endowed with magical powers, the four women must fight Rumpelstiltskin and his army of zombie thralls before he enslaves everyone on Earth. REVIEW: I know this is becoming a recurring thing with me (all the more reason why I always accept Guest Reviews ), but my life has been crazy busy lately, hence why a lack of reviews on my part this last month. Between starting a new position at work and some crazy personal life stuff, I just haven't had the time to watch many B-Movies lately and the few that I have were done purely for relaxation reasons and thus I didn't really want to 'make a job' out of reviewing them. However, with that said, whenever the fine folks at The Asylum are kind enough to send a screener copy of one of t...

A Dhampir named Rayne continues her ageless war against the vampires, this time in the wild west where she takes on a vampiric Billy the Kid. REVIEW:  BloodRayne is a trilogy of films that I actually kind of like from Uwe Boll. I've seen each of them at least once and, to be honest,. I'm not even entirely sure why I like them. Technically Boll has never made an actual *good* movie, but at least there seems to be a fan base for them, however small, and I know I personally can have fun with some of his Video Game adaptations like this series and In the Name of the King series. Thus here I am with BloodRayne 2: Deliverance. This takes place a good deal of centuries after the first BloodRayne , which took place in the Medieval ages. This one takes on a Western vibe as it takes place in the Wild West era where outlaws like Billy the Kid lived. Which brings us to our main villain of this Horror Western, Billy the Kid himself. In this he's a Vampire bent on spreadin...

A Dhampir named Rayne hunts down vampires and ultimately seeks revenge against the man that attacked her mother and made her the way she is. REVIEW: I won't lie, Uwe Boll is a bad filmmaker. He makes cheap video game movies and about all of them have been terrible, to say the least. But despite that, I have to admit that I do personally like a few of them, even going as far as owning them, and chief among those is the BloodRayne trilogy. BloodRayne is based off a video game about a half-human/half-vampire, or Dhamphir, named Rayne who, much like the infamous Blade, uses her vampiric super powers and abilities to kill vampires and rise up against the vampire master that originally made her. The video game that this movie is based off of however takes place during World War II and that's one of the main differences, a disappointing one at that, between this movie and the game. The movie itself takes place in medieval times, when the Brimstone Society, an organiz...

A truckload of secret experimented raptors is rerouted to a nearby prison where they escape and it's up to the security guards, a group of sorority sisters in the drunk tank for the night, and a few inmates to stop these creatures from escaping out into the city. REVIEW: Jurassic City (previously named Jurassic Lockdown and Jurassic Block) was one of those movies I paid close attention to during production, simply because it had dinosaurs in it and I'm always hankering for a new good dinosaur B-Movie, since dinosaurs are pretty much my favourite thing ever and dinosaur B-Movies are my favourite type of B-Movie. Unfortunately, to my disappointment, Jurassic City is not that new good dinosaur B-Movie I was hoping for. Not even close. That's not to say there's nothing positive here, because there is quite a few aspects of it that I did enjoy. The overall plot itself, of a pack of raptors loose in a prison is a pretty interesting one, and the prison s...

A documentary crew follows an elite unit of soldiers in the wake of an alien invasion. REVIEW: Alien Outpost, also known as Mankind's Last Stand in parts of the world for it's upcoming home video release, came out this past Friday on the usual Video-on-Demand locations such as Itunes, Vudu, and the like, and the trailer looked so interesting to me I had to order a digital copy and check it out as soon as I got home from work that day. Now, the original title that some people may know it under from news articles in the past was Outpost 37, but I feel that, for once, the name change is actually beneficial and Alien Outpost is the much better title. Usually I find last minute B-Movie title changes to be annoying in that they always change it from something great to something 'meh', but Outpost 37 was so plain and generic and didn't really help portray what kind of movie it is, so in that regard I feel Alien Outpost was a well-needed upgrade. This one was bro...