The B-Movie Shelf

A group of people stranded at sea come across an abandoned 16th century galleon, where they seek refuge. However, little do they know that the living corpses of Satan-worshiping Knights Templars have woken on the ship and are hunting for fresh victims. REVIEW: The Ghost Galleon, also called Horror of the Zombies in a severely cut version, is the third movie in the Blind Dead series, preceded by Tombs of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead , and this one above all the other ones was the one I wanted to really like the most, mainly because it 1, breaks the formula that the first two movies followed and gives us something a bit different with the plot, which I always appreciate, and 2, I love movies that deal with creepy mysterious haunted ghost ships out in the middle of the ocean. That’s one of my all-time personal favorite horror movie settings. I'll admit right off the bat that the Blind Dead themselves look great here as always (except their obviously-f...

500 years after they were blinded and executed for committing human sacrifices, a band of Templar knights returns from the grave to terrorize a rural Portuguese village during it's centennial celebration. Being blind, the Templars find their victims through sound, usually the screams of their victims. Taking refuge in a deserted cathedral, a small group of people must find a way to escape from the creatures. REVIEW: Return of the Blind Dead, also known more-so as Return of the Evil Dead, is the second movie in the 1970s Spanish horror Blind Dead series, of which I've already reviewed the first one . Some aspects I feel this entry does much better than the first Blind Dead movie. It has actual likeable and fleshed out characters, an easy to follow coherent plot, it uses the actual 'blind' aspect of the Blind Dead better, and pretty much everything else from a writing standpoint is done better, plus most of the acting is better as well. However the...

In the 13th century there existed a legion of evil knights known as the Templars, who quested for eternal life by drinking human blood and committing sacrifices to their 'God'. Executed for their unholy deeds, the Templars bodies were left out for the crows to peck out their eyes. Now, in modern day Portugal, a group of people stumble on the Templars abandoned monastery, reviving their rotting corpses to terrorize the land. REVIEW: The first time I watched Tombs of the Blind Dead, a cult classic Spanish horror movie from 1972 , I watched the horrible American dub/cut of this movie which removed some scenes and rearranged other scenes, and I hated it. On a rewatch, this time of the original uncut original Spanish version, Tombs of the Blind Dead is still not quite as good as I've heard from multiple reviews and podcasts, however this version of the movie is certainly a hell of a lot better than the shitty nonsensical American cut of the film, which I watche...

When Isla Nublar's dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire must mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event.  REVIEW: I don’t normally do reviews on here for big budget theatrical blockbusters such as Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, I usually reserve this blog for just low budget cheesy B-Movies and  some horror movies, but the Jurassic Park franchise is my all time favorite (even named my childhood dog Raptor because of Jurassic Park), so screw it, I’m throwing my rulebook out the window for this one. The first time I viewed this movie, I left with a similar feeling as I did when I left my first viewing of The Last Jedi - There were moments I loved for sure, but my overall opinion on the movie was confusing; I didn't quite know how I felt or what to think. I had a lot that I needed to process before cementing any strong opinion one way or the other. After a rewatch however, I've come to the conclusi...

A documentary that chronicles the similar disappearances of five children in the wilds of North America, across multiple decades.  REVIEW: Missing 411 is a documentary made by David Paulides, a very interesting man, trying to find the answers to some incredibly interesting cases. He's a retired police detective, and his research into mysterious unsolved disappearances in state parks and wooded areas, that are all strange and all have certain aspects that match up with one another, across the U.S., and the entire world in fact, is some of the most disturbing, spine-tingling, and creepy stuff you'll come across in the fortean world. Listening to his interviews on Coast to Coast AM and podcasts like Generation Why, Mysterious Universe, etc have kept me up late many, many times, just laying in bed after listening to said interviews, with my mind just racing and lights left on.  This documentary is a great starting point for those not overly familiar with his w...

Dinosaurs are back, used as the perfect animals to grow human organs for transplants. But in doing so, scientists have made them all but indestructible, leaving humans scrambling to fight back when the creatures escape their enclosures in a research lab. REVIEW: It's no secret that I'm an unabashed Asylum fanboy. Their movies are my bread and butter for reviews. That's not to say I blindly love everything they do, I have no issues saying when I hate a movie they've put out (most of 2016 and 2017's releases, sadly). With that said, Triassic World is their latest in a homerun year for me with their titles, having loved every single 2018 release so far. Age of Dinosaurs from 2013 is my personal top favorite Asylum movie to date, so I was already really looking forward to getting to review their next dinosaur movie as it was because of that, and Triassic World met my expectations on pretty much every level.  The CG special effects looked great for ...

Passengers and crew on an international flight are attacked by unseen forces that threaten all aboard. As they fight to stay alive, they start to realize that these are actually the spirits of murdered girls determined to stop their killer on board who will do anything to remain free.  REVIEW: Even though Age of Dinosaurs and Zoombies are probably still my personal top favorite Asylum movies, Flight 666 is quite possibly The Asylum's best-made film to date. I probably still wouldn't recommend it to people that are not already Asylum fans or SyFy Original Movie type of fans, but for those that are like me and really genuinely love these types of low budget movies this one really impressed me. The directing was great, with the background music right up there alongside it, always setting the mood perfectly. The acting from everyone in this was top notch stuff for Asylum and never once took me out, and the special effects were quite well-done. Not only that, ...

An architect and his wife are flying from London to L.A. with an altar from an ancient abbey secured in the plane's cargo hold. The other crew and passengers come into jeopardy when an invisible demon escapes from the altar mid-flight and threatens the plane in an effort to destroy the architect's wife. REVIEW: The Horror At 37,000 Feet is a very low budget 1970s Made-for-TV movie, and said low budget on this one definitely stands out as a sore point, especially during one moment where a character gets sucked out of the plane. However, if you're able to get past that aspect of it, this is actually a nifty little in-flight set horror movie, filled with likable characters, William Shatner hamming it up like his entire life has led to this one specific movie, and a few genuinely creepy moments.  It also helps that it's only an hour and 13 minutes long, including the credits, so the entire thing... (I hate to make this pun, trust me) ...flies by... pret...

Ben and Ashley, brother and sister, reunite 20 years after the murder of their parents to face the cause of their parents' death, a supernatural creature known as The Rake REVIEW: The acting is atrocious in The Rake, very very amateurish, and even though it has a really awesome, genuinely creepy opening scene, after that it takes forever for anything of note to really happen, and we have to spend that time with all these uninteresting, unlikable, badly-acted throw away characters. However, once you tough it out through all that, the last 30 minutes is actually pretty great. It's creepy as hell, far more gory than I expected, and a really awesome creature, plus all of that - from the creature itself to the high level of gore - is all done with practical effects that really work well and look fantastic. It's just a shame that most everything leading up to that stuff is a real hard slog to get through. 5/10 rooms in the Psych Ward 

Darcy is back on the force, but still fights on as the Black Scorpion in secret because "it's in her nature." This time, she fights Gangster Prankster, and a new villain, Aftershock, emerges when the Mayor tries to protect his federal earthquake relief money. When the two villains team up and kidnap Argyle's girlfriend, Black Scorpion is faced with the theft of the Scorpionmobile and the imminent destruction of Angel City. REVIEW: Black Scorpion 2: Aftershock, Roger Corman's 1996 follow-up to his 1995 low budget dark superhero movie is, sadly, not as good as the first movie, and that one was already not very good. While it's still quite heavy on the cheese, it has less sleaze and everything in it makes even less sense. There's actually a scene where the title "hero" is being chased by two cops, who are just doing their job in chasing her, and she outright blows them up and kills them... AND it's played up as a joke!? WHAT T...

Darcy is a cop by day who is also a supehero named Black Scorpion by night, who kicks ass and beats evildoers to a pulp. She soon catches wind of an asthmatic mad scientist who plans on tainting the city's air supply with a toxin. Only Darcy in her superhero garb can stop him with the assistance of a petty thief named Argyle and a really cool car. REV IEW: Black Scorpion, Roger Corman's very low budget superhero movie from 1995, is equal parts sleaze and cheese, with a dark as hell tone to it, yet a certain level of small bouts of comedy here and there (mostly with certain characters) to give it that level of levity once in awhile. This superhero movie has sex scenes and nudity (from the title hero at that!), it has a BDSM-style costume for the title hero that is in no way practical for crime fighting, it has a transforming high-tech car, it has death scenes (again, at the hands of the title hero), it has the Dollar Store Power Rangers version of Darth Vad...