The B-Movie Shelf

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long COMPANY: New Horizon RUNTIME: 83 mins FORMAT: DVD PLOT: After the U.S. Government looses communication with a top secret plutonium facility out in the middle of the desert, they send in a team of technical specialists to find out what happened, but none of them are prepared for what they discover – surviving Carnosaurs from the events of the first movie had attacked and made the base their new nest. REVIEW: After I was finally able to see the first Carnosaur way back in 2001, after a life-long journey of trying to obtain it, I ended up having to wait even longer to see Carnosaur 2. See, the small town I was living in at the time, the video store there had only the first Carnosaur and there was no such thing as Ebay or Amazon back then (or at least not popular and not on the mind of a 16 year old with no credit card), so it wasn't until 2005 that I was able to finally see the sequel, which was by way of ordering the VHS version off Ebay (which...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long COMPANY: The Asylum RUNTIME: 93 mins FORMAT: BluRay PLOT: Due to genetic altering, an escaped school of piranha fish are not only on a never-ending feeding frenzy but are also growing quite large, quite quickly, as they make their way to more populated areas. REVIEW: What can I say about Mega Piranha other then I loved it? It took me a bit by surprise as I thought every other 'Mega' movie by Asylum has so far been mediocre at best and didn't quite live up to the surrounding hype, so I wasn't expecting much from this one either. But by the time the credits started rolling, I was left staring at the screen in wonder at what I had just watched: One really kick ass Asylum-made Mega Monster flick! Sure, it was made solely to cash in on the then-upcoming summer release of the bigger budget theatrical remake of the famous 70's creature feature Piranha, but that didn't stop it from being any less awesome. Actually, while I have n...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long COMPANY: New Horizon RUNTIME: 83 mins FORMAT: Special Edition DVD PLOT: A mad scientist brings carnivorous dinosaurs back to life to set them loose on the world in a bid to destroy humanity and give the world back to the Dinosaurs. To help them along, she also unleashes a deadly dino-virus to infect the women half of humanity. REVIEW: There are many movies that solidify themselves into your mind as being associated with a particular time in your life. For me, one of those movies is Carnosaur. And the time of my life it always reminds me of? Grade 10 of High School when I first started getting into low budget B-movies. Actually, this is was one of my all-time first low budget B-movies, and for that, I'll always hold a special place in my heart for it. I've been a huge dinosaur nut ever since I was 3 years old. Possibly even before that, but my memory of being one goes back to when I was 3 (Yes, I actually remember this) and I saw my very fi...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long COMPANY: The Asylum RUNTIME: 90 mins FORMAT: BluRay PLOT: In this prequel to the first movie, the robot invaders attack Earth in the present day, forcing a group of humans to band together and seek refuge as their planet falls. REVIEW: After having defeated the alien robot menace at the end of the first Transmorphers , there was only one direction to go for Transmorphers: Fall of Man – back in time . For this outing with the giant killer alien robots, instead of a full-on war movie like the first was, we get to see the original invasion that is talked about in the first movie, so it plays more as a global disaster movie then a war movie, and while I love both of those kinds of movies, it doesn't lend to as much over-the-top silly fun battle scenes. Instead we get a very slow start and when things do actually start to happen it's mostly chase scenes of various kinds – foot chases, car chases, air chases, ect, which in my opinion, isn't as...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long     COMPANY: The Asylum RUNTIME: 85 mins FORMAT: DVD PLOT: A race of alien robots have conquered Earth and forced humanity underground. After a few hundred years, a small group of humans develop a plan to defeat the mechanical invaders in the ultimate battle between man and machine. REVIEW: Even though The Asylum is very well-known for their small-budget rip-offs of big budget movies, Transmorphers is actually nothing at all like Transformers and is instead more like the future scenes from The Matrix or The Terminator. It takes place 400 years after an alien race of giant robots take over Earth, and the human resistance lives underground with the occasional trip to the surface for a mission under the cover of darkness. Very simple plot that has been done a half dozen times or so in the last decade alone, yet its a plot that never seems to get old. Much like with the Michael Bay movies, these large robots do transform, but unlike them, the...