The B-Movie Shelf

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Saint Euphoria Pictures Runtime: 95 mins Format: DVD Plot: During a test flight of Earth's first faster-than-light-speed rocket, an incident occurs that throws test pilot Captain Jackson halfway across the galaxy! Lost in deep space, Captain Jackson must use all his wits to find a way back to his beloved home world, but first he must deal with mysterious alien planets, robotic lifeforms, beautiful space pirates, and an evil alien Empire hell-bent on galactic domination! Review: Destination: Outer Space is filmmaker Christpher R. Mihm's black and white throwback to classic 1950s low budget space adventure serials, along the likes of the classic The Space Adventures of Flash Gordon, with a dash of Star Wars and Star Trek tossed in for good flavor (actually, quite much more than a dash – ha!). It's following on the heels of several other similar-style movies by the same filmmaker, titles like The Monster of Phantom Lake , It Cam...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Overseas FilmGroup Runtime: 98 mins Format: BluRay Plot: The rebelling angel Gabriel comes to Earth to collect a soul which will end the stalemated Second War in Heaven, and only a former priest, a school teacher, and a little girl can stop him. Review: I grew up in a pretty religious family setting, so even though I am no longer a religious person I still find myself loving movies (especially thrillers) with dark religious overtones, and out of those movies The Prophecy series (alternately named God's Army in parts of the world) is easily my favorite. In the first movie of this long-running series, we follow a priest who has lost his Faith and turned cop and a small community school teacher as they get caught up in the middle of a Second War in Heaven, this one caused by the Arch Angel Gabriel who is jealous that God loves humans more then the Angels and he wants to make things 'As they were', and many of the angels have...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Saint Euphoria Pictures Runtime: 69 mins Format: DVD Plot: Along with the sheriff and small-town farmer Stan Johnson, Dr. Vincent Edwards and his assistant mount a rescue party into the extensive and dangerous Wisawa Caves for a couple of missing children, and they quickly come to the realization that if the caves don't get them, whatever unseen terror lurking in the shadows just might , as a fter years of underground atomic testing, one of the animals living within the Wisawa cave system has undergone a radical and unimaginably horrible transformation! Review: Following on from The Monster of Phantom Lake , It Came From Another World! , and Cave Women on Mars , Terror From Beneath The Earth is the fourth movie in the long-lasting low budget Mihmiverse series of fun black and white 1950s Drive-In B-Movie tributes. After jumping into the then-Future of 1987 (from the point of view of how it may have been thought-up as being like ...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Active Entertainment Runtime: 84 mins Format: T.V. Plot: When reckless rednecks on a fishing trip kill a great white shark, its spirit comes back for revenge, and soon turns its sights on the nearby town of Smallport, where this 'ghost shark' can now hunt wherever there's water - both in the sea as well as on land. Review: To say that shark movies are a very tired and overdone corner of the B-Movie market would be one of the biggest understatements in the history of mankind. On the surface, Ghost Shark may seem like a new and unique entry in that overcrowded corner, and while that is true to an extent for reasons I'll get to later, when you dig deeper into it, it really isn't a whole lot different from any number of the other low budget shark-themed B-Movies. Stripping away the whole supernatural angle and taking Ghost Shark to its basics, we've seen this movie before, dozens upon dozens of times. A lar...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Saint Euphoria Pictures Runtime: 73 mins Format: DVD Plot: It is the future: 1987. Humanity has finally left the confines of its home world. When the two-man crew of the MARS-1 spaceship lands on the surface of the red planet, they are astonished to find it strangely Earth-like. After deciding to split up and scout around, Lieutenant Elliott stumbles across an amazing discovery -- primitive, matriarchal warrior women! He is promptly taken prisoner by the Martian beauties and led unwillingly across the alien landscape. While his commanding officer, Captain Jackson, searches for his lost comrade, Lieutenant Elliott encounters unimaginable excitement in the form of fierce monsters, exotic vistas, strange magic, and most unexpectedly... true love! Review: Cave Women on Mars is the third in the currently-eight-movie collection dubbed the Mihmiverse. What is the Mihmiverse, you ask? Well in short, it's a series of micro-budget black and whi...

At the end of 2011 I did a Best B-Movies of 2011 list and I always intended that to be an annual post I do up around New Years of every year. Suffice to say I totally and completely forgot all about it come the end of 2012, so while this list is a bit late, at least it's better late then never! Now to be honest, this entire list is pretty much being done on the spot, with no research behind it other then my own memory of what I saw that year, mixed with what I could find in my collection here at home and what reviews I may have done, plus which ones still stick out as having been really good in my memory after all this time, so forgive me if I ended up forgetting some by accident. Also, there is still plenty of movies from last year that I haven't yet seen, so it's possible I've potentially skipped over a few diamonds in the rough due to that as well, since this list is based off what I've actually watched myself. Also, this list is solely based off what...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: Full Moon Entertainment Runtime: 67 mins Format: Screener Plot: Five girls compete for a chance to model diva Deedee DeVille's fashion line, but they're soon competing for their lives against four mythical beings, led by the mischievous leprechaun, Farr Darrig. Review: Full Moon, while I grew up watching and loving their more classic B-Movies, it's no secret at all that the current incarnation of the company has turned in, well, just outright shitty stuff, more often then not for the last decade or more. Yes, there have been some nice diamonds in the rough (The first Gingerdead Man , Zombies vs Strippers , the Evil Bong trilogy...hell, even the second Gingerdead Man , while I'm not a big fan of, was still way better then some of the other shit Full Moon has strung out in recent years), but for the most part their movies these days are boring, sad excuses to make low budget porno, or just all around hard to sit through...

REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long Company: The Asylum Runtime: 90 mins Format: BluRay Plot: A group of survivors hide on Alcatraz Island to escape from the rising zombie hordes. When their refuge is overrun, and upon hearing that a scientist hiding in the middle of the city may have discovered a cure, they leave the island to seek him out. Review: A couple years ago the SyFy Channel and Asylum got together for a co-produced project for Halloween called 2012: Zombie Apocalypse. I ended up enjoying that one quite a bit, even though I felt it got really repetitive, had no plot to speak of, and the zombie actors were pretty terrible. Well it seems Syfy and Asylum joining together for a zombie flick is becoming an annual Halloween tradition as they did it again last year with the just-as-bland titled Rise of the Zombies. Luckily, the saying 'Practice Makes Perfect' rings true here. While the movie itself may not be perfect, it's certainly a nice improvement...