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Showing posts from April, 2012

Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012)

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REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 90 mins

FORMAT: Netflix

PLOT: A group of researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a platoon of masked soldiers and dragged to a hidden continent in the center of the Earth. There, they discover that surviving Nazi soldiers are plotting an invasion of Earth to revive the Third Reich.

REVIEW:
I honestly wasn't originally planning on doing a review for Nazis at the Center of the Earth, simply because I can't review every B-Movie I watch, I just watch way too many of them, and where I recently put out two reviews, one for Grimm's Snow White and one for Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver, with another one for Camel Spiders being prepped for the near-future, I was planning on just sitting back and enjoying Nazis at the Center of the Earth without having to worry about taking notes and doing up a review after. But by the time the credits started rolling I knew I just had to do a review of this one to help get the word…

Tactical Force (2011)

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REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Caliber Media

RUNTIME: 91 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: A training exercise for the LAPD SWAT Team goes terribly wrong when they find themselves pitted against two rival gangs while trapped in an abandoned Hangar, armed with nothing but blanks.

REVIEW: Despite finding nothing but negative review after negative review, for me personally I really enjoyed Tactical Force and was a bit surprised that it turned out to be a pretty entertaining ride, filled with really fun and extensive action sequences, plenty of enjoyable characters, and hilarious one-liners making up the bulk of the movie.

While Steve Austin visually suits the role he plays in this quite well, it's no secret that he's not exactly a good actor by any stretch of the imagination, but luckily he's backed up by plenty of decent to good actors like Michael Jai White and quite a few recognizable TV actors such as Canadian hottie Lexa Doig and her real-life husband Michael Shanks, all of who…

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011)

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REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Full Moon Entertainment

RUNTIME: 70 mins

FORMAT: DVD

PLOT: The Gingerdead Man breaks out of Pastry Prison and travels back in time to 1976 to carry out an epic disco killing spree.

REVIEW: I loved the first movie in this series despite a few issues I had with it, but I really didn't care much for Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust. So when Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver one was announced, I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. In the end though, I landed on 'excitement' because after all -  it's about A KILLER COOKIE, and that alone will be enough to get my money – Every. Single. Time. Unfortunately Full Moon and Charles Band know that, and no longer bother to put much more effort into these then that basic premise. Much like with the second movie, all the right ingredients were present to make this a B-Movie Legend, but it was all mixed together incorrectly and what we ended up getting was just a sloppy me…

Sniper 4: Reloaded (2011)

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REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: Stage 6 Films

RUNTIME: 91 mins

FORMAT: Netflix

PLOT: The son of a renowned sniper decides to track down the sniper who ambushed his squad when they were sent to rescue a white planter in the Congo.

REVIEW: Going into Sniper: Reloaded, I really wasn't expecting much. I loved the first two Sniper movies but hated the third, and knowing that this was a Tom Berenger-less sequel didn't really give me any hope for it. Surprisingly though, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Chad Michael Collins plays the estranged son of Tom Berenger's character from the three previous movies (and surprisingly actually looks like he could be related to Berenger), but he lacks Berenger's charm as he's a bit bland and it doesn't help that Collins is essentially the male version of Kristen Stewart when it comes to showing emotions. Luckily his slack is picked up by the supporting cast, as they're all mostly serviceable to outright great, with the love…

Grimm's Snow White (2012)

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REVIEW BY: Jeffrey Long


COMPANY: The Asylum

RUNTIME: 90 mins

FORMAT: BluRay

PLOT: Snow White's evil step-mother tries to have her killed so she can fully take over the Kingdom, but when her attempts fail, Snow White teams up with a band of Elves to strike back at the evil Queen and reclaim her kingdom.

REVIEW: With the recent ABC show Once Upon a Time reigniting my passion for fairy tales, and with my unfaltering love for all things Asylum-related hardly being a secret, it's safe to say that after 2-Headed Shark Attack, this was pretty much my next most anticipated B-Movie of 2012, and one I've been eagerly awaiting since The Asylum first announced it. However, something about this movie, through the trailers and the production photos released, just kept reminding me slightly of the horribly-dreadful Almighty Thor, so while I was anticipating watching and writing a review for Grimm's Snow White, there was still a part of me being weary of how the final product would tu…